October see’s the start of pregnancy and infant loss awareness month. 21 pregnancy and baby loss charities in the UK unite and mark the brief but very precious lives of babies who were lost during pregnancy or soon after birth.


When a child loses their parent(s) they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses their partner they are called a widow/widower. But when a parent loses a child there isn’t a word to describe them. Too many families grieve in silence and that shouldn’t be the case. The Baby Loss Awareness Campaign recognises how alone and isolated bereaved parents can often feel.  This is why they are encouraging people to try and understand pregnancy and the depth of the devastation experienced when a loss occurs.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month is an opportunity to help banish the taboo around loss and make people aware of the wonderful charities and organisations that are on hand to support parents and offer advice to anyone who has been directly or indirectly affected by the death of a baby.

As many of you will know, I’ve suffered 6 devastating miscarriages. Whilst they all happened very early on in my pregnancies, usually around 7 weeks, this makes them no less harder to deal with. My first miscarriage was in 2011 but I still think about it everyday. I often sit and wonder what could have been? How would our lives be now? What would those babies have grown up to be in life? Unfortunately I’ll never know the answers to those questions.


This year something caught my eye that I hadn’t heard of before, The Carly Marie Project ‘Capture Your Grief’. During October those who have experienced loss are encouraged to raise awareness by ‘mindful healing’ using 31 different subjects. People are invited to explore each subject and share a photo, video, or anything else that captures their own individual journey. The idea is to become more present and conscious in your own grief experience so that you can learn more about yourself and discover more ways of healing to aid you in your journey of grief and personal growth. You are encouraged to use the hashtag #captureyourgrief across social media so you can connect with other people.


One of the subjects that stood out the most to me was number 3 – ‘what it felt like’. There were some days where words literally couldn’t describe what it felt like to lose a baby. But overtime I’ve come to make peace with my losses and can now express what it felt like – it felt overwhelming, it felt devastating, it felt lonely, it felt soul destroying, it hurt, it was physically and emotionally painful but most of all it felt unfair.

Number 30 of #captureyourgrief is ‘my promise to you’ – my promise to my angel babies is that they will never be forgotten. They will live in our memories and our hearts forever. Max will grow up knowing all about the brothers and sisters that came before him.

At 7pm on Saturday 15th October 2016 people from all over the world will light a candle, or candles, which will create a wave of light to remember all those babies who were taken too soon. I’ll certainly be joining in and I have my 6 candles ready in remembrance of my 6 angel babies.


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